I know that I have 3 beautiful, healthy children who are my world and I am extremely thankful for them but there are times when I question if my family is complete. Hubby and I have not done anything permanent because we can not agree on if our family is complete or not, me more so then him. With our oldest I knew I was not done growing our family and that I wanted more children, after our second was born I was unsure and then it hit me when he was about 9 months old that I did not feel like our family was complete and hubby agreed. When I was pregnant with our youngest, the whole time I was pregnant I would say “I am sure we will be done after this one”, however my amazing grandmother (who is no longer with us) told me “Don’t make anything final until you know that you know” and we didn’t. When my daughter was about 15 months old the baby bug bit me again and it has not left, the thought that our family is not complete yet still lingers in the back of my mind and I still randomly bring it up to hubby that I feel like we are not finished and I feel that another child belongs in our family. I can not explain it, I do enjoy the stage my youngest is in right now where we are just about out of diapers and I no longer carry a diaper bag where ever I go, the sleepless nights (from a baby) are behind me and many of my friends think I have lost my mind when I say I would like another baby.
Our life is starting to settle after a few years of craziness and our finances being in a confused state, where adding another child to our family would not have been possible. I have begun to get rid of the baby gear like the swing, clothes and while doing so it is hard. It is hard because not only am I giving the stuff away (it is going to friends that I know need it and can use it) but because when I look at it I imagine another little baby of mine and hubby’s wearing it.
I keep going back and forth about if our family is complete or not, my heart does not say that it is but at the same time our life is going in a direction of children growing up. We are at the stage that we can pick up and just go, we are at the stage where I can tell the kids get your shoes we are leaving and the all go an get their stuff. Part of me thinks I may be crazy wanting to go back to the sleepless nights, but when I think about them and how hard they were when I was in school at the same time it is not a scary thought, it is one that I would welcome with open arms even if it means more coffee (after the baby would be born and breastfeeding was done) I also go back and forth because I always wanted my kids to be no more then 3 years apart, and my youngest is 2.5 years old right now and we are getting to the stage where she will be starting preschool soon and there will be more time for after school activities and “big kid activities” like going to amusement parks where all the kids can ride the rides, or where we can all go to a movie and everyone be able to sit through it and fully enjoy it (my youngest loves the movies but about 1/2 way through them she needs to wiggle a bit and then sit on my lap).
I know that only time will tell and that the answer will come to me if we are complete as a family or if our family will be complete by adding one more little smile to it.
How did you know that your family was complete? Did you ever get the feeling that you “just knew” it was complete?
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