I am not one to admit when times are tough, in fact I do not even like to admit it to myself nor do I like to ask for help at times when it would be in my best interest to do so. I like to put my game face on, take the world by its horns and trudge on through and take my many daily “jobs” and hide the fact that I am struggling. Right now I am struggling, struggling to find a balance. Hubby is back to work and gone for 12+ hours a day along with going to school 1 day a week making him gone almost 16 hours on that day each week. I am working from home and the kids need mommy and so does the house (granted hubby helps with housework too but he’s not here during the day). I have done the stay at home mom thing when hubby was the only one working, I have done the working mom thing when hubby and I worked opposite shifts, I have done the single mom thing when hubby was deployed and I have done the work at home mom thing when hubby was out of work. Each of those times I really was only juggling one thing at a time, I was mommy when I was home and I was working when i was at work or working from our living room and the 2 worlds never collided really until now (that is not to say that when I was working when hubby was home I didn’t do stuff with the kids, but if one of them needed a drink or a snack hubby was right there to get it). Now I am work at home and stay at home mommy all in one and I think this is by far the hardest adjustment I have had to make. Please don’t take me wrong and think I am complaining because that is totally not what this is. But I see what I do on a daily basis and can’t help but to think of what a single mom who works out side the home and then comes homes and it is just her doing the work of 2 people deals with. Major props to all the single moms because I do not think I could do what you do all the time.
I am currently doing a 30 minute rotation, 30 minutes of work, 30 minutes playing with the kids and 30 minutes of house work during the day and then after hubby and the kiddos have gone to bed I am finding myself up late at night catching up on things that need to be done for the blog, the house work and everything in between.
I have to admit that I never thought I would struggle with him finding a job, and I am thankful, very thankful in fact that he does but where as he has had a fairly easy time finding a balance I am struggling with it. I am thankful that my mom has offered to take the kids so that they can spend time with her and my dad and I can get things done, but at the same time I feel guilty that I am not going to have them at home with me and that they are going to be spending time with out me.
I am thankful that I am able to work from home and that I can spend time with my kids and have a rotation, and while I would love to cut back just a bit from working it puts us at a loss because we are working on buying a house in the next few months and we are about to start the house shopping process and the small amount of income that I do bring in helps us a lot, even with all the coupons that I use and deals that I find the extra income that I bring in is very beneficial to us, It feels like a catch 22 sometimes, I am working to better things for our family and to help us out to make things better for my children, but at the same time I feel like I am taking away valuable time from my kids by working.
I also know that I need to work on putting myself first sometimes, like when it comes to sleeping. I have never been one to go to bed early or sleep a lot all the time and I have gotten into a routine of sleeping very little for a few weeks and then crashing and sleeping for 8-10 hours. Thankfully I have a hubby that is understanding of how my sleep cycles have always been and when I need that crash sleep he lets me have it but then I wake up feeling guilty that I was sleeping instead of playing with the kids.
I know with time things will work themselves out, and a routine that works for me and my family will fall into place but until then we will all be adjusting and getting used to everything that has to be done each day. I have realized that making lists each day so I stay on task for what needs to be done helps a lot with my focus and getting as much done as I can.
Do you struggle with finding a balance in your life? Have you been through something similar? How do you balance work, school, kids, home ect? I would love any tips that you have.