I am sure you are all noticing the new trends in school, you know the “no failing a child” trend. Gone are the ABCDF Grades and now some schools have 1234 (really what the heck is 1234 I don’t understand that one at all!). With the goal in mind to make children have a positive outlook on themselves, an outlook that they are doing perfect and well in school and in hopes of making kids want to learn. I get that I really do but ya know what..
I HATE THAT!’
Let my kid fail! Please if my kid does not know the information for a test, please don’t put a smiley face on their paper and say good job! No please say “Here is what you did wrong, lets work on fixing it”.
If my kids mess up on their homework, they go to school with the wrong answer on their paper! I am not going to fix it for them. They need to learn and their teacher needs to know what they need help with. I will work with them at home as much as I can to help them but I won’t do the work for them.
I will tell my kids to do their homework and make them sit down and do it, but if they get mad and walk away and don’t do their studies I won’t force them. You may think that is an awful thing for me to do, but my oldest has learned the hard way that if she doesn’t do her work and then doesn’t study then she gets a poor grade and guess what?!? She sure as heck sat down the next week and made sure she studied her words with me when I told her it was time to and she made sure to do her homework.
In life no one is perfect, everyone is going to fail. No one is going to master everything, no one is going to score a 100% on everything that they do and no one is going to sit there and say “well Bob you didn’t get all your work done this week lets try again next week. But I am still going to give you a standing ovation for trying”. No what is really said is “Bob you didn’t do your work this week, either do it right or find a new job”.
I get it that kids are young, but I don’t feel they are fragile. We are impairing them on their ability to learn how to take failing.
Another trend I am seeing is not letting kids fall. I can’t tell you how many times my kids have fallen down or were on the top of a jungle gym screaming for me to help them because they didn’t know what to do. Well guess what, they figured it out real fast when I stood next to them and told them I was there to catch them if they were going to fall far but that they needed to figure it out on their own.
If my kids are at the top of a slide they have 2 choice, go down the slide or climb back down. I am not going to come and rescue them from a situation that is not dangerous.
We are about to start working with my older 2 on riding bikes with out training wheels (now that we are in an area that we can and there is room to practice) and I KNOW my kids are going to fall, they are going to scrap their knees and they are going to cry and then they are going to learn to ride that bike with no training wheels, stand up proud that they learned how to do it. They will learn from that experience that with hardwork and determination they can do anything that they put their mind to. That is a life skill they need to learn!
Problem solving is important and I won’t hinder my kids from learning that valuable skill that they will need for life. Just as I won’t tell them they are going to be the best in everything that they do. I do tell them that they are perfect in my eyes, all their strengths and their weaknesses make them who THEY are and that is who is perfect to me. They also know that not everyone in the world is going to see them as perfect and that when they fail or fall it is ok, you get up, stand up tall and try again and when you meet your goals you take pride in what you have accomplished!
Do you let your kids fail or fall?