Writing that title was quite hard just now. It was hard because it was me admitting something that I had always wanted to stay away from when raising my kids. As a child myself, my sisters and I never went with out, in fact we were spoiled and had many things that our peers did not have and as a result I did struggle a bit with the “I want it so I should have it” syndrome as I call it for a few years once I reached adulthood. On a side note thankfully my parents kept us well informed on the value of a dollar at the same time so I did not get to far into a hole.
But back to my kids, yes they are spoiled and it is not with big things like they expect a new toy every time I go to the store (although that doesn’t mean they don’t ask for one because they do) but they do expect things like a candy bar to split if they were good in the store and they expect that every time we go to the movies that they will each get their own thing of popcorn (which with movie reviews we go fairly often). When that expectation of theirs is not met it does end up in a hissy fit and it drives me crazy. My children are very well behaved, not to say they do not have their fights with certain things but they are for the most part well behaved children. I do know that them asking for things like their own popcorn or a snack when we leave the store.
They are also spoiled in that they are used to me cleaning their rooms, as much as I try to get them to do it (and there are plenty of times they do clean their rooms) it is still a battle at times to get them to do it and they expect me to clean their rooms if they don’t. That is my fault and I know that, I have made it so they expect me to clean up after them if they do not do it themselves. As much as I say I am going to put my foot down and make them do it, I give in and do it myself.
I give in on many other things too, for example if we are planning to go to the Zoo or the park and I tell them we can go as long as they do something like help me with laundry and then they do not help me out, I still take them where ever we have planned on going. This has been something that has caused arguments between hubby and I and one event stands out in particular, last summer we had plans to go to Sesame Place, the kids were told they had to go to bed with out a fight and we would go in the morning, easy enough task I thought but it wasn’t. They fought bed time for over 2 hours and then in the morning woke up and wanted to go. Hubby said no way, they did not go to bed like they were supposed to and he was not going to reward them for it, but that if I wanted to take them myself fine. That ended with me taking 3 kids to Sesame Place myself and just had us back to where we started.
For the longest time my oldest had a million pairs of shoes, (ok not really a million but looking at the overflowing shoe bin sure made it fill like that many). I liked her having different shoes to go with different outfits and now at age 7 she is expecting the same and I know as she gets older the cost of shoes gets higher.
My 5 year old son has become spoiled with “boy toys” forever he played with “girls toys” because he had an older sister and now that he is all about the boy toys I get excited and get him things when I find them at a great price to “make up” for all the barbies he has played with for so long. He is now starting to expect me to buy the “boy toys” when he sees them in the store with the sale stickers on them.
My 2 year old is a mommies girl and wants to sit with me all. the. time. Getting her to play on her own is some times a very big fight as she was always with me no matter what for so long. There are times that she screams just because she is left with someone other then me, even if it is hubby, or my parents who she loves to hang out with as soon as I am gone.
I beat myself up often for this, it is my fault that my children are spoiled like this, I could have and should have done things differently and now I have to fight the battle and calm down the spoiling or in the end my children will expect things, the bigger more expensive things as time goes on and their wants are more expensive then that .65 candy bar.
Are your kids spoiled?