This weekend the kids and I had special Mommy and me days, each one of them went somewhere with me that is a place that they have wanted to go and we had some much needed quality one on one time. Talking, laughing, relaxing, enjoying each other and having fun. I wish every weekend (or day for that matter )can be like that. This weekend I felt great, had fun and felt like the Mom I want to be all the time. Like those pictures above, I wish everyday was like the past 3 days I had with my kids.
But most days are not like that for me. Lots of days I feel like I am failing as a Mom when I have to tell my kids to hold on because I have to finish what I am doing for work, or when I can not just stop what I am doing to go play with them or take them to the movies like they want to. The kids obviously are not doing with out as no matter how tough times are Tom and I have always made sure they came first and had everything they need and then some but sometimes it came with a sacrifice like me working nights and not being home to put them to bed, or like now working from home during the summer break and them wanting to do things and me having to say no. I feel awful at times telling them to go outside and play because mommy has to work, when what I really want to say is I am coming out with you. I feel like the days go by so fast and that time needs to slow down just a bit so I can catch a breathe of air and spend more time with them. I have been letting them play video games more then I normally would (somedays they have played for 2 hours) and I feel bad that I am letting them sit their and play a video game instead of playing something else with them. I feel awful that my house is constantly in disarray (yes we moved but that was 3 months ago and in my head I should have it all done by now and I can handle my messy house but I don’t handle the not unpacked house as well) I feel bad that the kids bedrooms are still not finished being painted, like Logan’s room with 3 walls painted and 1 still waiting for the black paint to be done. Then there are the days where no one gets dressed, and they end up in their pjs for the whole day. Thankfully this summer I have not had any days like we did a few years ago like the Day I forgot to feed my kids lunch, since they i make a point to ask them if they are hungry lol. Then there are the kids talking about after school activities for next year, and my head is swarming with where that is going to fit in to the already crazy business we have and then I beat myself up thinking that I would be an awful Mom if I didn’t get them in the activities they want because I am limiting their life experiences and putting a rift in their self growth.
I know I am blessed that I have the opportunity to work from home and while I am not always playing with them while I am home I have the chance to still carry on conversations with them through out the day while working, or stop at lunch time and have lunch with them that many moms do not have the option to do.
Sometimes I wonder if I push myself so hard working to give my kids the things I want them to have is just to much, and if in the end I am spoiling them and setting them up to expect things later in life. I work hard to teach them about working hard and how if you work hard and do your best that things will happen, good things will happen. But then I wonder if I am showing them that working is more important then spending time with family (which for me family first and I turn down many awesome trips because family is most important) but then I also worry if turning them down I am showing my kids that it is ok to not push your self to be the best that you can be.
Some days I feel like I wake up, work, feed the kids, put them to bed and then work some more and that I am missing out on time with them as they are missing out on time with me.
School starts in just a few weeks and I feel like I haven’t had the time I want with my kids (yes I know we have done 2 weekend trips and a few days trips already this summer) but I still feel like I am letting them down in the quality time department.
I know I can’t be the only mom who feels like at times they are sucking and not having the time they want with their kids. What are some of the things you do to make sure you have a balance between like’s must dos and spending time with your kids?
Maybe the solution would be to clone myself and make my clone do all the hard work 😉 Anyone know how to clone yourself?